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[03 Sep 2006|11:13pm]
[ mood | blank ]

This story goes out to jackie canchola.

well the c's is invigorating but fucking boring as hell to. my crew member went out and pulled a little GTA the other day. going at 100 miles an hour she crashed into the side of a shit load of cars, until a cop pulled her over. this was her friends rental car to, mind you. Oh, it was also uninsured. the next day, after bailed out of jail her olny conclusin was "coke is a hell of a drug". and thats what boredom drives you too here. haha, drives you to.

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[09 Nov 2005|04:45pm]
I was so bored today. I was outside where my dad works and there was just a shit load of old people in wheel chairs making their way around this hospital. I turned up some rock and roll in the car I was waiting in outside of this place in and hoped for a wheel chair race, or maybe even a wheel chair fatality. ya know, falls out in front their good ol electric wheel shair and somehow gets ground up in their wheels while other patient next to them has a massive heart attack and their heart explodes out of their chest. no such thing though.
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[26 Oct 2005|05:25pm]
[ mood | yellow belly ]

finally, I think I landed a job. this guy tell's me he loves me (I think he's for real) and say's all I have to do is stand out on this street corner and wait for other guys who want to love me. Their are so many bonuses to this new job! It runs on commsions :), I sometimes get paid in meth and crack, and sometimes I even get a new friend out of it every once in awhile. Now that i'm doing this job I feel so much more loved.

seriously though I think I got a job at the SB and Enc aaron brothers! yay!

I think I also wanna get back into restoring old cars and get a 2800 classic ford mercury! that's right mother fucker, I will have the car of the year again and then I'm gonna run peoples asses over in it, because you can get away with that shit in a classic. you just gotta say to the officer "don't worry man, I don't think I hurt my car in the process of running over that parade of people on the street" and hell be like"WTF! you asshole son of a bitch cock mommy!" and then I'll run him over to.

Also looking forward to hallows eve at jackies partie,, sounds like mucho fun! I think I'm gonna go as a gym teacher. I'm gonna put on a jogging jacket with a coachs name printed on the back some how, aviator glasses, and one big as fake mustache, and tiny short shorts.

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[16 Oct 2005|09:55pm]
[ mood | Apocalyptic ]

man this weekend was fun. Went to the scream zone with robby and two girls and got to waist sixteen bucks watching these two chiks freak the fuck out about scary people with bad make up jobs. Then it was off to kayla's birfday party which was awesome seeing mike russ again and many other people. Dancing is so much fun, I think I want to take it at mira costa, or maybe lessons, or join a dance team. My own team, called team "Arfen House". that'd be so sweet. then my I ran into mine and my brothers friend BJ who told me it was my old friend Liz's 21st this next weekend which totally rocks. I didn't even think she was down here first of all, and then she called me up later to say she might try and sneak me into clubs next weekend or get me off my face atleast. Godam that rules, and she's moving down here to! so Now I have another friend to hang out with. Jeez my list of friends who I actually hang out with is growing. not really though, or other wise I wouldn't have to make sock puppets that I pretend talk to me and laugh at my witty talk. I hope next weekend Is as good as this last maybe.

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[09 Oct 2005|10:35am]
Last night was crazy! This morning was even crazier though. After waking up and realized I had managed to puke into something at my friend gus's house I looked around for what it was and found a pyrex measuring cup which I had filled to exactly one cup with bile. Dam, now if I could just figure out the recipe that requires one cup of my barf I'd be in buisinnes
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[06 Oct 2005|05:55pm]
Life has now taken me in a totally different direction man.

I'm no longer driving my truck since I sold It. Yes I sold my truck, It was so I could by that peice of shit corolla that I drive around mostly. very sad indeed I shed a little tear for lucy the loose slut everytime I think of her. good bye lucy and good luck you filthy smoggy whore.

I don't work at sea side market anymore thanks to two of my friends. I went out and bought a hookah the other day and after that, me and kayla and jason decided to smoke it. Jason and Kayla then preceeded to tie me up and put banana's and cucumbers in my orifices while I screamed "oh thank you lord". little did I know that my boss frownsupon hius employees coming in late with vaseline covered faces and duct taped mouths. Now that I don't have that job anymore I can go look for a more interesting one, like at pizza port or lou's movies.

On the plus side of changes though I'm single again and loving it, no more having to look at fat transvestite bestiality porn with guilt. That and now I can date people I want which hasn't really been a plus yet since I sit at my home all day and don't interact with anyone except my dong. But I'm sure it'll come in handy soon enough being free. The olny down side right now is that she's still inviting me to cool concerts but now I want nothing to do with her, god dammit. Fuck u Irony

well I had so myuch fun at the last rave I went to. before I got their I smashed out my back window, on the way their I got lost a shit load of times thanks to two different set of directions and navigators. thank you evan mcquade and brian liest, don't ever drive in my car again you homo's. then after that I had to worry about my ex girl friend who had come because I didn't want her their. And last but not least, I ran into someone when I got back home and was driving the last person back home. thank you sunlight in my eyes and small balding asian men everywhere! The guy filed a claim even though him and his insurance both report no damage done except to his and his small penises ego's. "How dare you run into my car going 20, you little bastard! my wife and dog were in the car!" he exclaims. "Arf! Arf! I just shit all over my new fur coat you dick!" barked the angry dog. after this calamity insues, where I magically deface the dog with my bare hands screaming fatality at the top of my lung without waking anyone in my own car up. Then the old man tries to bicycle kick me but I quickly retort with an uppercut. Unluckily the guy had one extra life and preceeds to call his insurance for no damages!

Well I'm all typed out for now.
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[20 Mar 2005|10:48pm]
saturday was interesting. it started off with me being woken up at 10 by a phone call from the dubious chris richmond. it wasn't the usual call for his good medicine, but a request instead for an actor to play a role in his dirty harry spin off movie. I was intrigued, what kind of fucking movie was this exactly i thought to myself? why did he need me and my truck and good spirit? I put on my lady bug muscle tee and headed out the door to find out.
the location was odd, it was a secluded bridge off of the lagoon by the del mar fair tracks. why there, out in the middle of fucking nowhere though I asked myself. there questions jostled around my mind As I took the rode past the filthy ass recycling center just on past the del mar fairgrounds. this place gave me a bad vibe, I began to regret coming out there. for christ sake, this very spot looked like the last place I set up my meth lab. It was a deserted filthy ass swamp of a waste land.
low and behold though! as I drive up I see Cold Dawg and Costello, the tow most comical geniuses this side of the american canadian border (Kids in the Hall motha fuckas). "hello gentleman" I yell out to the two. "where is the whiny one" I ask, trying to spot chris. Cold Dawg takes the slim virginia out of his mouth and gives me a long hard look. I try to avoid the mans scrutiny by avoiding his eyes, but there burning a hole in my fucking head. "what" ? I yell trying to find some solace now. after what seems like an eternity longer cold dawg open his mouth and utters "fuck off stenehjem, he'll be here soon". I precede to park my car and find a new pair of panse until the red head gets there.
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[17 Mar 2005|09:51pm]
[ mood | Die ]

why does my life consist of trying to obtain constant satisfaction that will never cease. wouldn't I just sit down and cease to exist if I had done all I needed in life and was through with the grueling pain and torture of having to see the same people everyday with the same problems. why do they constantly pretend like they want to find a solution to their fucking lame ass problems. they don't want a solution to their problems, they will just tell you about them because they want your understanding not your help. why are people so confusing. no wait I take that back, there fucked after I attach my robot arms and kill them all. run, run for your life pitiful beings. for I shall end I'll your bitching and moaning with the crushing of your larynx

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[16 Mar 2005|07:22pm]
[ mood | My pants fell down ]

Early in the morning I heard my door slamming and walked out to find my friend Natasha. She said her morning was ruined because she had come to fuck me in my sleep. “To bad” she said. I told her I had to go to the bathroom and went into their and quickly beat off “yeh, too bad I still have my imagination bitch” I was heard to say. We then proceeded to have breakfast. She had a light burrito; I had a bean and cheese burrito, which had probably been jizzed all over by the staff at the establishment. what... I did ask for the special sauce. Natsha and me then proceeded to talk about our dreams and how we think our friends are growing away from us. We then decided to get a siamese twin operation done where we were surgically conjoined by my massive amounts of ass skin (as seen in Jackie Cancholas Live Journal Pics), so we would never grow apart as friends. I then went to my English class and grabbed two chairs for my new exciting life partner and me. “who’s your new friend Garrett?” asked a more then curios ms. Scott. “back off bull dyke! Can’t you see she’s conjoined to me?” I spat. I put ms. Scott in her place and then she put me in mine with her crappy ass class reading of Frankenstein. Jesus Christ, I don’t think I need to read about dead people when I have about 20 in my closet. mmmmmm dead people. Back to my English class though, I was starting to feel the lust to go home and fuck my dead friends. now all I needed to do was convince Natasha to go back there instead of going to her stupid japanes class. Being a Siamese twin can be hard like this sometimes. It took some hard lying, but I convinced her that we were merely going over to my house for a pleasant tea party.
Well that’s the end of that story, tune in tomorrow for the sequel called “Framing my Siamese twin with first degree murder and necrophilia.”

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